It is Tuesday evening and I've been thinking all day about Ferguson, MO. I've been on Facebook reading, listening, commenting and thinking. I come here to work on my blog post today and I really just want to talk about something besides Ferguson. I want to see something besides arguments about the validity of rioting. I truly want to stop seeing the quotes from major civil rights leaders of the past that are STILL appropriate today, over 50 years later.
I want to stop hearing about all of it because it is too horrible. I don't want to see the pictures because it is too heartbreaking. Then I understand that my wish is only possible because I have white privilege. I can turn off the TV, radio, and the computer and ignore what is happening because I don't have to live in fear.
A friend of mine was stopped by an officer for having a light out on her car. She was treated well and spoken to respectfully. She commented on how she may have reacted differently to the stop, were she a person of color. She recognized her white privilege.
I've often talked about my frustrations at people who don't understand what it is like to get around in a wheelchair. I get angry at the lack of enforcement of the ADA with regard to accessibility at public locations/institutions. I've only been aware of this type of marginalization for a few years. I can't imagine how it must be to have lived with this kind of anger and hurt for my entire life.
So I want to apologize to my friends of color. I don't know what you are going through. I don't understand what it is like to be you. I don't even know if what I am doing to combat racism is working. I don't know if it is the best way to help.
I'm listening. I'm searching for and finding many wonderful voices and I'm listening. Please forgive me for the times I haven't listened and for wanting to stop listening today. Please don't stop talking.
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